I’ve concluded that this is no ordinary flu bug. Obviously I have been cursed. I don’t know by whom. I don’t know what atrocity I have committed to warrant such retaliation.

Miraculously, after days of cringing from dry toast and saltines I was excited to be thinking of food again. I rarely lose my appetite. I eat through heartbreak, stress and nervousness, but food, my dear friend food has turned on me. How can a potato become an enemy? It is so innocent. So mild and innocuous. What could possibly be offensive about a potato? Somehow my transgression of trying to enjoy a potato was deemed punishable by the intestinal gods and I spent the rest of the evening swooning and tragic on the uncomfortable couch I have learned to despise over the past few days.

I am slowly shuffling with my bathrobe clutched around me, holding burning sweet grass in one hand and a can of Lysol disinfectant in the other. I don’t usually partake in native smudging rituals but I will do whatever is necessary to break this voodoo spell.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 5:49 pm and is filed under Rants . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.