1. Lament the rapid and fleeting passage of time
2. Eat a half dozen brownies and clutch stomach
3. Feel anxious that I haven’t traveled enough
   
4. Question what really matters and if I have true meaning and purpose in life
5. Remind myself that adolescence was hell and at least I won’t have to be a teenager again
6. Realize that I still have to face menopause and will once again be a walking hormone like I was in adolescence
   
7. Put on eighties music and realize the music of my youth is now considered retro
8. Dance in living room to Smith’s songs like no one is watching
9. Admit that I am not the “dance like no one is watching” type and wonder if I am facing a future of desperate forced actions that are not really me
10. Decide that I should master a signature dance move
11. Briefly consider that maybe I should get my driver’s license before I spend all my time on new signature dance moves
12. Get excited about making a list of all the things I want to accomplish in my forties
13. Get depressed when I realize it’ll probably be the same list I made in my thirties
14. Inspect hair for new new grey hairs
15. Discover one that is curled like a pubic hair sticking straight out of my head
16. Realize that my natural haircolour is the best shade for my complexion and that’s probably why I was born with it
17. Regret that I am only appreciating my natural colour now that I will have to start colouring my hair to hide the grey
18. Wonder if I have to give away my shirts with cute printed animals so that I don’t look like the dreaded mutton dressed as lamb
19. Fear that my musings are vain and shallow
20. Worry that I have not evolved or matured enough for my years
21. Worry about everything and feel panicked
22. Feel grateful for the amazing people in my life and realize that the connections we make are what give our lives meaning
23. Know that if I have love I don’t need anything else
24. Worry that I will be reduced to spouting platitudes for the rest of my life
25. Wonder if I should have insisted on a surprise birthday party
26. Worry that there might be a surprise party planned
27. Remember that I was critical of myself when I was a teenager, in my twenties, and in my thirties, and now look back and realize I wasn’t that bad
28. Realize that I’ll probably look back on my forties when I’m fifty and realize the same thing
29. Wonder if I should start a savings fund so that I can hire young companions to visit me when I am old since I don’t have children of my own
30. Decide this should be the year I finally adopt a rescue dog
31. Find as many birthday horoscope predictions of May twentieth as I can to gauge whether I am in for a good year
32. Feel smug that I share my birthday with Jimmy Stewart
33. Look for list of late bloomers on the internet
34. Discover that Colonel Sanders was in his sixties when he franchised his Kentucky Fried Chicken empire
35. Worry that I am trying to find comfort in Colonel Sanders when I am vegetarian and KFC’s abuse of chickens is well documented
36. Worry that I am desperately grasping at straws if I am looking to Colonel Sanders for hope
37. Resolve to practice self acceptance
38. Wonder if self acceptance is just a cop-out and I am in fact just apathetic and have lost the fire
    
39. Decide that I will start smoking again on my 75th birthday
40. Start planning my 75th birthday party
    

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