Don’t get me wrong Martha. I admire you and your accomplishments tremendously. You have built an empire on what generations of women have always done and elevated it to a place of value. I’m scared of you but I think you rock.

Years ago I subscribed to Martha Stewart Magazine. I was living in a tiny basement apartment decorated with dust bunnies, cat hair and ratty pillows strewn on the floor. Martha would arrive, glossy and full of promise, offering an alternate universe where I would throw dinner parties for twenty of my closest friends with pressed leaf table runners and flower arrangements snipped from my garden. My perfectly groomed pets would recline quietly at my feet as I graciously accepted applause for my seven layer butter cream cake.

Each time I moved I dutifully packed my Martha magazines into a box and lugged them to my next apartment. They were too lovely and valuable to throw away. I was certain that if I was just a little more organized I would actually craft, decorate or cook something from the magazine.

The problem is that I have to learn to de-clutter. I have crap everywhere, and I mean everywhere and I can’t pack and unpack old magazines forever, can I? You wouldn’t do that would you Martha? I don’t picture you as a hoarder. A collector, yes, but old musty magazines? No. Eventually I must let you go. If I still haven’t made the unforgettable woodland desserts from your December 2003 issue chances are that I never will, right? The fruitcake adorned with meringue mushrooms would indeed create a woodland “ethereal delight”, but I am pretty sure I will not be the one creating the magic .

I have been systematically going through your old issues, Martha, and the fantasy still captivates me. I haven’t been able to resist pulling out a few recipes, sure that one day I will make my own sorbet and marshmallows, but for now this is good bye. I will donate your magazines to Goodwill so that someone new will enjoy glossy dreams as I once did. You will be gone but not forgotten Martha. I will always love you.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm and is filed under Uncategorized . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.