1. Feel relieved that I got turning 40 out of the way last year
2. Start dreading turning 45
3. Realize that I didn’t fulfill any of my secret plans for the year
4. Rejoice that I didn’t share my secret list so that I don’t feel like an underachiever
5. Feel like an underachiever anyway
6. Briefly feel depressed and wish I was a Type A personality who would actually get things done
7. Comfort myself that I would probably be stressed all the time if I was a Type A
8. Realize that half the time I am comparing myself to people who’s lives I wouldn’t want anyway
9. Stare at my belly roll and fear that I am getting middle aged spread
10. Feel bitter that I am supposed to eat less as I age when I still have the appetite of a teenage boy
11. Kick myself for worrying about petty things when I should have accepted myself by now
12. Feel superficial and vain
13. Try to think of something deep to contemplate on my birthday
14. Come up with nothing
15. Worry that I am developing a dowager hump
16. Take stock of the year and concentrate on my accomplishments
17. Think for a really long time and feel hard pressed to come up with anything
18. Briefly feel depressed again
19. Regret that I didn’t backpack through Europe before I started university
20. Wonder how travel to India, Thailand, Istanbul and spending the winter in Mexico fits with my goal to get out of debt
21. Look at celebrities in their forties and compare myself to them
22. Consider starting a botox fund
23. Hope that I won’t succumb to injections and end up looking like the Joker
24. Feel bad that I am critical of other women and their choices when we should all be part of the sisterhood
25. Wonder if I should go back to the Zen Buddhist temple for spiritual guidance and group meditation
26. Remember that I hate group activities
27. Feel proud that Buddha was also a Taurus
28. Realize that feeling smug about sharing a sign with Buddha probably isn’t very Buddhist
29. Wonder about my life’s purpose
30. Plan to go for a psychic reading
31. Feel like a flake for wanting a psychic reading
32. Wish that I could get my astrological chart done but realize my parents have always been very vague about my time of birth
33. Wonder if my sister is right and I really was adopted
34. Say a brief thank you for the wonderful family and friends I have in my life
35. Give myself a high-five for nabbing The Sweetie
36. Reiterate my belief that so long as I have love, true connection and health, I have it all
37. Feel like I am spouting platitudes
38. Don’t care if I am cliched, feel lucky anyway
39. Consider going for therapy
40. Get bored of myself
41. Start secret list of everything I will accomplish by the time I am fifty

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 20th, 2010 at 11:11 am and is filed under Uncategorized . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.