I had a Sunday that could not be saved. It wasn’t filled with any kind of calamity or catastrophe, just a steady stream of small annoyances and irritations.

I decided that the best way to put the irritating day behind me was to have a hot bath and a vodka tonic. I was happily reclining, frosty drink by my side, when The Sweetie came in to check on me.

Suddenly his voice became very serious and exaggeratedly calm.

“Listen, I want you to sit up very slowly.” he said with forced gentleness.

That could only mean one thing.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Spider? Is there a spider on me?!”

I began screaming as I heard The Sweetie yelling “Calm down! Jesus Christ!”

Apparently at that point I levitated, rose from the bath with a wall of water, jumped in a single bound from the bathtub, screaming and knocking over my vodka tonic as The Sweetie for some inexplicable reason kept yelling,“Work with me, work with me, help me help you,” over and over again. I know when someone tells you to move slowly with exaggerated calmness that you should try to remain calm and do as they say but the survival instinct cannot be controlled.

I knew it was a spider. A thick legged one, dark grey and horrible that was inches from my shoulder, paddling in the bathtub next to me. I hate spiders.

The bath that was meant to salvage my irritating annoying day was ruined thanks to the bathtime spider saboteur. See? Unredeemable. Some days are just like that.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 31st, 2010 at 10:46 am and is filed under Rants . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.