Saving Thanksgiving

It is common knowledge in my family that I ruined Thanksgiving when I became a vegetarian. It was pointless to make a turkey if I wasn’t partaking. I do admit that I have the heartiest appetite in my clan, eliminating any fear of having leftovers for weeks on end, yet canceling the feast on my account is a tad extreme. I suspect it is meant to make me acutely aware that I am responsible for sullying the holiday for everyone.

“Why don’t I make a squash galette?” I’ll suggest in the hopes that I can somehow salvage the day. “It’s festive and autumnal.”

“Spare us,” My dad will mutter, his eyes raised to the heavens.

“How about a hearty bean stew? That’s filling. It’ll be like we stuffed ourselves on turkey we’ll be so full.”

“I hate beans.” My mom will sniff.

I wouldn’t dare risk dinner-table suicide by suggesting a Tofurkey.

It looked like another Thanksgiving would be destroyed until I discovered that Baskin Robbins has an ice cream turkey cake, complete with a sweet glaze, just like a beloved holiday ham.

Is there anything more festive than an ice cream cake? Cart out an ice cream cake and everyone knows the party has started. About to have a dispute with your extended family? Save it! It’s time to carve the ice cream cake! Someone is in a snit? Put it aside, dinner is melting! Raised eyebrows because someone has enjoyed a little too much wine? Turn those frowns upside down and fight over who gets the sugar cone leg instead. The holiday is saved.

Thank God I am not a vegan.

6 Responses to “Saving Thanksgiving”

  1. drollgirl Says:

    HA HA!!! i hate to tell you this, but i am on your mom and dad’s team with this particular issue. then again, i would lOVE to try a tofurkey!!!!!!! i would!!! anything but beans or squash. shudder!!!!

    p.s. i am going to see the family this weekend. i am nervous. an ice cream cake might make things go a little more smoothly!

  2. cheap girl Says:

    An ice cream cake makes every occasion go more smoothly. Hope your visit goes well!

  3. Eloise Says:

    Cooking. Ugh. I’ve cooked turkeys back in the day and it was always a wrestling match with The Bird.

    I think a veggie Thanksgiving sounds divine. Lets face it, the turkeys the Pilgrims ate were skinny and stringy, but at least they were free of additives!

  4. cheap girl Says:

    It’s true! A turkey pumped full of chemicals doe not sound too tasty and squash cooks up a lot faster!

  5. Astra Says:

    God save our gracious Dairy Queen
    Long live our noble Dairy Queen
    God save the Dairy Queen….

  6. cheap girl Says:

    Sing it sister!!