I am in a bit of a funk. The Sweetie is in a funk. All of Toronto is probably in a funk today, waking up to blowing snow and nasty wind. Just when I was getting cautiously, secretly hopeful that there was a trace of spring in the air, March unleashed a nasty sucker punch.
I found a recipe for Vegetarian Cassoulet here, along with thoughtful musings about bad moods and our fear of them in our “happy face culture.” Bad moods scare me. I panic, thinking that I am on a downward spiral and that I will end up a cranky old crone, yelling at the television and shaking my fist at squirrels. I wonder whether I would be crabby all the time if I wasn’t keeping myself in check. I am not a natural Pollyanna. I can feel gleeful but I can sink into darkness just as quickly.
My mood has lasted more that a day, as has The Sweetie’s. We are both a little glum and tired and sigh a lot, shuffling along our days, not feeling particularly inspired. Maybe our spirits have been tossed and windswept for too long and winter is finally kicking us to the curb. Maybe it is the weight of all the tragedy and insanity happening in the world that is finally taking its toll. Maybe everyone just needs a low period every now and then, as part of the ebb and flow of life. The shuffling will turn to light steps again, just as this dastardly biting wind will eventually become a gentle breeze. Maybe it is okay to just go with a bad mood and not pretend that everything is perfect all the time. When life hands you lemons you don’t always need to make the lemonade. Sometimes you can just suck on the lemon and have a sour face.
In the meantime, I will make my vegetable cassoulet, hoping that its warmth and goodness provides some comfort until the sun shines again.